 |
    © 2003 Andrew Dormeier
A hole appeared in front of a small mammal. This was not a normal hole like this forest mouse was used to. And doing what most animals with brains the size of peas do when confronted by things they don't understand, it ran away. This, as it turns out, was the best thing it could have done, because less than a second later a figure stepped through the hole and placed a rather massive boot down in the spot which the mouse (who was actually named Charles and played a vital role in saving a small village from certain doom, but who is not important in this story) had just removed himself from.
Now being as how vertical 10 foot tall holes usually don't appear over moss-covered logs in forests in mid-Spring on most planets, the surrounding trees could be heard to give a slight creaking sound, which in Old Oak language is a bit too graphic to translate here. The tall, dark-clad figure proceeded to place his other boot next to the first one and, after doing so, to look around himself. Promptly the hole (if you can still call it that, even though it in reality was a gateway of sorts to another place/time/you-know-the-routine; however it really did look like, well, a hole; so we'll refer to it as a hole).now where was I. Oh yes. The "hole" promptly shut itself off. This particular type of hole is not the nice, soothing holes you see in snazzy sci-fi movies that slowly close in some symmetrical fashion, at some constant rate, while some cliché protagonist rushes to jump through before they close. No, this was an on/off hole, or a "snap" hole. These are the kind that simply come into existence fully, um, holy, without all that bothersome opening and closing. Needless to say this can be startling, even to veteran hole-seers. A ruffling of leaves was heard, revealing the great relief of the trees over the disappearance of the hole. Well enough about the hole, you want to know more about this figure, right? Well you better because he's the important one here, not you, and not Charles, as I've already told you. So the figure, who appeared human and male by the way, looked around to assess his situation. Three words escaped his mouth, "What the hell.", then he passed out from blood loss and collapsed in a pile. Twenty-five feet away a rather average-looking rabbit was performing rather average rabbit activities. He was eating some grass and leaves. This was just, however, to round out his diet. This rabbit was this fourth smartest living thing on the planet. The first was a scientist working in a lab in the capital city at the time. The second was a man lieing in a heap a little over 8 yards away. The third was a dog living in the suburbs that figured out how to turn lead into gold by a process that involved squeaky toys and small squirrel carcasses. However the dog died 3 weeks later from running head-on into a bus from insanity brought on by lead poisoning (which is also in no way relevant to this story). God had one day just decided that a super-intelligent rabbit would be a good thing to make, and so He did. Therefore this rabbit was smart enough to have his own garden full of nice carrots, lettece, turnips, and other vegetables. Seeing as how he was such a smart animal, many would think he would use his brains for "higher" purposes. |
 |